I see writers who talk about how much they really don’t like writing.
And yet, they do it.
They talk about how agonizing writing is, but act as though they don’t have a choice in the matter. They tell would-be writers to run as far away from writing as they can, as though the act of writing is like a syringe full of heroin that automatically presses the plunger against their will.
Their message is this: “If you choose to write, your life will suck, you will hurt, and in the end, the pain only gets worse.”
If all that’s the case, then why the hell write? (There’s no shame in doing something else that actually makes you happy.)
The common answer is, “I can’t help myself,” or, “I have no choice.”
I understand that compulsion, but we do have a choice.
When I don’t write, I get restless. I was a hyper kid with no attention span. I was dropped into learning disability classes for dyslexia and other issues. For whatever reason, I was able to focus [obsessively] on writing and juggling (and, to a lesser extent, reading). It didn’t come easy, but I enjoyed it and I worked hard to get where I am today.
There have been times writing’s been difficult for me, but I’ve always enjoyed it, even when it’s been tough. When I look at the times writing has hurt, it wasn’t writing that was the problem, but other things getting in the way, making it hard to focus on writing as much as I wanted.
I like writing — that’s why I write!
If you loathe something, why do it? Why not just stop, or at least change your focus and goals.
I’ve known writers and artists who have walked away from their passions at their best. People around them didn’t understand why somebody so talented would stop doing something they loved. I’ve seen people stop for various reasons: too much time taken away from other things they enjoy, the act of creating got harder the better they got and they expected more from themselves, revising a novel for the 5th – 25th time is the most tedious thing one may ever do, and the biggie: the commercial aspect ruined the fun of something they once loved.
I don’t fault these people. In almost every case I’ve seen this happen, the person was happier after they stopped.
But the people around them weren’t happy; they couldn’t understand why somebody with talent would walk away from what they loved.
The funny thing about talent: it’s not this rare thing many like to believe it is. Sure, some have innate ability, an edge that some seem born with, but talent comes with hard work and the way one looks at things. I’d go as far as saying that if people truly push themselves to get better every time they sit down to do something, that talent is a learned thing that just happens — not a magical thing some people are born with and others can never have.
So when somebody gets angry when a “talented” person stops living a life many dream about, or stop before success comes their way, it doesn’t seem fair to me. The very people knocking the “quitter” have the same shot the “talented” person had, but they chose not to sacrifice for years to reach a level of skill where their talents become evident.
If somebody is going to write, they’re going to write — it’s silly for me to try telling them not to do it. The act of writing isn’t as easy as most people think it is; the dream of making a living as a novelist is unlikely. But it’s worth it. The act of writing, editing, and receiving feedback is worth the hard work, even if you never sell a thing.
If it hurts too much and you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it, and don’t let people make you feel guilty for walking away.
But at least give it a try for a decade or so and see what happens.
Maybe you’ll stop trying to do it for commercial success and do it for your own pleasure. Maybe you’ll quit entirely. Or maybe — just maybe — you’ll make it!
There’s only one way to find out, and it helps a lot if you enjoy it along the way…
I guess I haven’t run into this too much, but that kind of compulsive behavior makes sense to me. I could imagine somebody in this kind of a situation saying: “I’m in an abusive relationship with my own writing.” It’s kind of too bad that we really have to snap to make drastic changes in our own routine.
I’m much more likely to run into people who want to play “I’m the only real artist” because of the clothes they wear, way they live, or the nibbles of success they’ve had. You run into anybody like that?
Jason,
Yes, I’ve run into many people who seem to think they are the only people to ever think a certain way and that nobody can truly ever understand them because they are so profound. I see that one a lot in college towns 😉
I’ve suffered because of what I do (but it’s my choice, and I’m not going to complain about it), but I don’t believe one has to suffer to create. I think a lot of people think they do have to suffer.
Some great art has come about from grief, but great art is also created by people who get out and experience things and practice getting better.
The people I know who have walked away usually come back. Sometimes the break is needed to get excited again, and other times the break was caused by things going on in friends’ lives that made writing (or other art) difficult to create.
I’ve definitely known people who have had an abusive relationship with their writing. I understand the compulsion and pull of that kind of thing; I’ve done it myself at some point.
When I look back at those times I had a bad relationship with my writing, it was usually because I was listening to others and focusing on doing the “right” thing (i.e. dedicating more time to a “real” job, instead of what I want to do). During those times I tried convincing myself that I was happy spending more time focused on learning new software and skills for a day job, so I let writing beat me up because it would be easier to walk away from something that knocked me around.
I tried blaming writing for some the failings in other aspects of my life (“I don’t have a house like everybody else because I’ve spent more time pursuing writing skills than day job skills,” “I should have gone on a real vacation instead of day trip or two and spent the rest of the time writing,” … stuff like that).
I’ve been told by people that my drive scares them. I never understood that one, because I work harder than most people at a day job and take care of all my responsibilities…so why not work hard at what makes me happy?
I think we all have choices in the things we do. I choose to write. There’s definitely a compulsion that makes me focus on it like few other things in my life, but I don’t have to do it.
I think a lot of the “I’m the only real artist” kind of people you mentioned like to think they have no choice and have to suffer in order to write what usually seems like mediocre fiction and even worse poetry.
The people who’ve overcome some kind of hardship and stayed focused on what they loved even while walking through hell (and not complaining about it with every step), tend to produce better work.
Writing is a tedious art that only gets done by being tenacious; it only makes sense that the people who have tenacity to keep going no matter what are the people who come out on the other side real artists–not just some wannabe like you mention who is more talk than action.
Thanks for the reply!