At 8:00 p.m. last Wednesday night, I returned to social media.
I recently wrote about the 101-day social media break here.
And now, some thoughts upon returning…
The First Thing
Upon returning to social media, the first thing I checked was Facebook. And the first thing I saw? A rant about how stupid Black Friday is and how at least the people camping in tents at Best Buy know why they’re there, unlike the Occupy movement.
Right from the start, negativity and politics.
I thought about logging back out and making the social media break last forever.
There were plenty more people telling me not to shop on Black Friday. (Black Friday isn’t my thing, but for all the anti-Black Friday posts piling up, I enjoyed watching what my friend, @leon_at_spill, was up to as he spent Thanksgiving night and into Friday morning taking part in Black Friday madness.)
And there was other negativity and tension…
Is It Worth It?
For me, negativity makes me not like social media as much as I once did. Even if it’s a sentiment I agree with, when a sentiment becomes a trend, it’s like saying, “Today I will notice green,” and you see green things everywhere.
One or two “no Black Friday” posts are one thing, but when many of the people you follow post about the evils of Black Friday — and you see it across all your social networks — it seems like all you see. And…It’s even worse when you see somebody else say, “But I like Black Friday,” and others jump on them, telling them they’re a victim of the marketing machine and don’t even know it!
While I can’t imagine heading into the fray after Thanksgiving, I also can’t imagine telling others not to take part if they want to.
The Self Assessment
I occasionally do a sweep of all the things I’ve mentioned and shared on social networks — I do it to remember good times and see if what I’m putting out there really is a reflection of who I am.
I’m happy when I look at all my streams and don’t see any negativity.
My father’s side of the family was full of very angry people, and it was perpetuated because they never came up for air. At its worst, I think social media is like that: this place you can always run to and complain. It’s human nature to want contact, and if you get the most attention when you’re down or angry, it only makes sense to post things that keep that going.
Everybody has the right to be negative or angry on social networks if that’s their thing, but others have the right to turn it off and not listen.
Returning to social media after the break was a reminder that I don’t want to listen to a lot of what’s out there.
The Initial Day
After the initial “Don’t partake in Black Friday!” rants and links, I dug deeper and found the stuff I missed: actual posts about what friends are up to (complete with photos), publishing news, humor, and so much more.
The stuff I like.
I spent most of the time at my desk the first couple days back catching up with people. When I noticed I wasn’t writing as much as I had been, I chalked it up as, “Hey, it’s a holiday weekend.”
But I usually spend time over holiday weekends writing.
And then it happened…
The Reflex
There was a moment as I sat at my desk when I could have jumped to writing, but instead — in an automatic move — I typed “Fa–” and my browser address bar filled in the rest for me.
facebook.com
I pushed the Enter key without thinking; it was total muscle memory, like juggling.
And there was Facebook.
I hadn’t logged out like I told myself I would (and was doing about 75% of the time). It was all right there, waiting.
I closed the browser without looking, put on some music, and started writing.
Glimmers of Hope
While the Pavlovian move returned, most of the weekend was good when it came to interacting with social media.
After running errands, visiting people, or just going for a walk, I didn’t feel that old urge to go straight to my computer and see what was up online.
In some cases, it was only when I saw others picking up their phones or laptops that I thought, “Hey, I can check things, now!”
In many of those cases, though, I still didn’t. The times I felt the urge, I told myself, “Don’t check for an hour,” and it was usually longer than an hour before I checked.
For me, that’s cool.
The Big Lesson
Before my social media break, I would have argued with anybody who said I used it too much; in part, because I believe people have a right to do whatever the hell they want to do as long as it doesn’t affect others. Since my wife and I do a lot online, my use of social media was never an issue.
But it really was.
For me, it was an issue because I convinced myself that I was doing something important online when using social media.
While I never bought into the whole concept of “branding” (I don’t like the term) or having an online “presence,” (another term I’m not particularly fond of), I’d be lying if I said that social media hasn’t brought some good my way.
Sales of my ebooks dipped when I stopped occasionally saying, “Take a road trip for less than the cost of a gallon of gas,” on Twitter and linked to pages where people can buy Hell Comes with Wood Paneled Doors. I fell out of contact with some cool writers and artists during the break. I missed out on news and posts that could have helped me in ways.
When I look at it like that, it’s easy to buy into the importance of being connected and always available, because you just never know when an opportunity will arise.
But when I look at a chapter I wrote over the weekend when I shut it all down and did what a writer needs to do more than anything else — WRITE! — I remembered that social media is only a part of it all (and a much smaller part than I believed).
I can’t produce the quality of writing that I’m producing, lately, without the focus that comes from truly disconnecting from it all. Maybe you can, and I think that’s cool.
For me, though — after 101 days away from it all — I’m still questioning where social media factors into what I do as a writer.
Doing a sweep of you own output- that’s a great idea. I checked my G+ stream from November 20 to today.
Tally:
negative, angry or depressing (re)posts- 3
neutral (re)posts, including writing advice- 6
positive, happy, or uplifting (re)posts- 1
I apologize if any of my 3 downer reposts contributed to your distress. I was aware of your dislike of negativity and re-emergence into SM, and considering my small number of followers on G+, could have timed my last 2 downer reposts better. 🙂
Great write-up about your experiment, Chris. I was wondering how your adjustment back to social media would go. Striking the balance between no social media and excessive online yack-ing can be a challenge. Sounds as if you are adjusting well. Congrats! 🙂
CMS: Not at all on your posts. It’s mainly from people who do nothing but use social media but complain or wallow in a cyclic misery. For me, it’s mainly Facebook that’s the issue. I really don’t see it as much with Twitter and Google+ because there it’s [mostly] all about publishing for me. My feeds with Twitter and G+ are pretty positive.
Facebook: not so much…
M.E.: Thanks! I’ve found the way I’m using it is pretty much the same than before the break–just not quite as often. And now, if it’s something I feel the need to jump into and argue, I refrain. And if that urge keeps coming up, I hide or remove the person. My time online is better spent discussing writing and things I enjoy–not arguing about politics or the way I eat. (I don’t eat animals.) If others enjoy discussing or fighting about things online, cool. But to me, after a certain point, it becomes this cyclic thing that really goes nowhere.
So I’ll reply to the things that make me feel energized, and keep sharing what I share. And if it becomes something I do too much, I now know I can do without it. (But since coming back, what I REALLY like about social media has come into better focus, and that’s what I’m responding to.)
Yea!
I consider you a good influence on G+ and hope you’ll stick around (if you are so inclined). 🙂
G+ is my favorite social network right now, so I’m sticking around 🙂
I am totally hearing you and am constantly looking for ways to reduce my social media usage. So many of my book sales have come through social media. But spending all that time on Twitter and facebook takes away from the writing. I probably could have written another book with the time spent marketing my two books, but I probably wouldn’t have sold many books if I hadn’t spent that time. It’s a difficult balance and, like you, I am moving away from social media–marketing be damned–and towards more writing. Not sure it is the right decision, but it certainly more enjoyable to write another book (and all the research that goes along with it) than to listen to some “friend” rant about something stupid.
Thank you for the reply, Michael. It’s hard to find that balance of being online and available to market the things we write, but disconnect enough to be productive. The break I took helped me realize that it’s just not worth my time dealing with negative people — even if they are acquaintances. When I check out any of my social networks, I really want to walk away feeling like I shared something with people, and walk away feeling excited about writing, juggling, or seeing friends.
Since returning to social media, I haven’t written as much as I was before the break. Spending a little extra time to organize my circles, lists, and columns on various sites has helped me get through social media sweeps faster, but I still feel like it’s a distraction. When I weigh the time spent on social media sites vs. having another finished book, finishing another book wins. Even with streamlining the people I follow and stay in touch with, I still sometimes think about going back to the break.
I hope you find the time to write another book!
Thanks for your reply Christopher. I have also spent some time organizing my Facebook lists so that I only follow real good friends, family, and people with relevant and worthwhile but not too much sharing. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a way to do that on Twitter and basically don’t read anybody’s stuff on there. With 13,000 followers, way too much noise. And yet, you’d think with that many followers, you’d sell more books. Too much noise out there and sometimes I fear I am just adding to it.
Furthermore, nobody will read your tweets and facebook notes years from now. Even blog posts will rarely be read months or years from now. But a good book will survive years, decades, or even centuries.
With Twitter, I use Tweet Deck because it allows me to create columns of people I really want to follow. I may only open Tweet Deck a couple times a day, though, because I find the constant stream of it all distracting. But I love being able to click my Writers column and see the tweets from writers I really like. Things like that.
You bring up a good point about social media: the immediacy of it all. Sometimes I’ve posted things and had a flood of attention. Other times it’s like I missed a little window of opportunity and things are lost. Blogs are good because it’s always there, but you’re right–even then, most people don’t read more than what’s at the top. (But it IS nice when you see that somebody new checked 20+ pages when they stumbled upon things.)
Books, though…that’s where it’s at! No argument from me!