In Ann Patchett’s The Getaway Car: A Practical Memoir About Writing and Life
The funny thing about writing and ideas: it’s not really the idea that’s the big thing — it’s the work!
The Concept
Sure, a high concept idea can sell a screenplay or get a reader’s attention, but anybody who’s written long enough has a head full of ideas. Hell, some days ideas practically fall from our heads to the floor. Ideas many would deem brilliant, we roll around and kick away because we know what it takes to sustain an idea for 80,000+ words — and at the risk of sounding arrogant, it’s not the kind of idea usually presented by the party guest. (If they even share it…sometimes they think you’ll steal it, so even worse — they all but accuse you of being a thief. I can’t think of a better way to begin a business relationship were I actually interested in writing their book.)
I’ve had people I barely know ask me to write their book for them. Obviously, I kindly pass. If they are insistent, I find an excuse to get away. As best as I can tell — even though it may be annoying — they really mean no harm.
Sure, it is insulting to have decades of hard work reduced to the belief that, “I have an idea and will make lots of money if I can get somebody to write my story.” But in ways, I can’t be too hard on these people; after all, we live in a world where having an idea is sometimes all it takes.
+ Shipping and Handling
Turn on the TV, and it’s easy to see why people think all it takes is an idea.
- “Want to get those tough stains out? Oxyfy them with Super-Duper OxyGlow!”
- “Clean your car, your desk…even your children with ShammyCloth!”
- “Does cleaning the litter box leave you smelling like a zoo? You need the Kitty Kleen system!”
- “Stay warm and still eat dinner with your hands in Whammie’s new SnugglySkin fleece body suit!”
The person with the idea behind every LOUD spokesperson you see on TV makes more money than most writers probably combined! All it takes is that one idea for the product everybody needs and you can have a yacht big enough to drive your Ferrari on. (Okay, so it’s not that easy, but I think you get the point I’m trying to make.)
So it’s no wonder that people think all it takes to create a successful novel is a good idea.
The Difference in Ideas
Ideas for novels and ideas for the gadgets at the check out line at Home Depot are different things.
Obviously, it’s a single idea that starts a novel rolling toward a myriad other ideas. In the end, though, it’s not a product that immediately satisfies a need.
I don’t have to spend 20 minutes cutting a novel out of packaging — almost slicing a limb off in the process — before I can read it. And once in my hands, a book does not slice, dice, chop, and practically clean itself…all for just 19.95! (Act now, and get a second one free…and — for a limited time [i.e., as long as these commercials run!] — we’ll throw in this weed puller AND add a lifetime supply of toothbrush heads (as long as you’re willing to pay $25 dollars shipping!))
When I sit down with a novel, there’s an investment of time. I don’t spray a novel on the tile in the shower and let it do the rest. I don’t wrap a novel on a leaky pipe or the finger I sliced while opening the product packaging. (Can you tell I hate product packaging?) Novels don’t automatically refill the water bowls of pets or stick to any surface.
I sit down, alone, and spend hours with a novel.
Sure, “It’s a story about a young married couple that wins a pub in southern Ireland,” may be what got me to pick up the book, but it’s unfair to think that all it took to write Matthew Bondurant’s The Night Swimmer
It took years of hard work.
A novel is not a convenient product.
Why I Don’t Get Too Mad at the Party Guest
On one hand, I really do want to smack the person who asks me to turn their idea into a book. Just SMACK! across the face — followed by, “Do you really think that’s all it takes?!”
But then I think about it some more: while they are leech like, in ways — latching on and hoping — I have to cut them some slack. Here’s why…
Because, to them, a novel is still a special thing. Having a story with their name on it is something they can only dream of. (Not because writing is some magical thing, but because they aren’t willing to put in the work.)
It’s not about thinking, “Man, I wish they made spray-on latex gloves!” and making a product; it’s about being part of something much more creative. In a weird way, when they ask if we’ll write their novel for them, it’s a show of respect. Sure, not respect for what we do as writers, but for the medium.
If given the choice, I think most people wouldn’t mind becoming rich from an all-in-one aerosol cleaner (“Clean your tires, your toilet…even your baby!“). But as they cross the country in their LearJet, I still think they’d give up a little of that to have a novel with their name on it.
Because it’s not as easy as it looks.
A novel is much more than an idea.
You’re much nicer about the “write my book for me” crowd than I am. Granted, I don’t punch them in the face, either… but you’re right. Novels are an entirely different animal to pretty much every other “idea” market.
Shawn: More than a couple of the people who have asked me to write a book for them have been older. They have an idea — always based on a family story that means something to them, but really isn’t enough to sustain a book — and they want to see it as a book. So in that case, I’m usually able to not get too worked up. I have had somebody closer to my age and very arrogant act as though he was giving me a potential gift by trying to get me to write his book. Wanting to toy with him, I asked about the idea, and he was one of those, “I can’t tell you my idea because you’ll steal it!” people.
So let me get this straight. You want somebody to write a book for you, but you won’t tell them about the book? Makes sense to me! I’m sure he’s the kind of person who posts on Craiglist, looking for people to ghostwrite a novel for the exposure, or maybe 1.25% of the take…because obviously, that’s more than enough for a destined best seller 😉
The thing I liked most about Ann Pratchett’s memoir is an analogy she uses about playing the cello. She mentions how nobody thinks, “Hey, I’ll play the cello today and play Carnegie Hall in no time!” but how insulting it is that people think all it takes is sitting down, writing a book, and in comes a flood of money and fame. That concept of, “Everybody has a good book in them,” when that’s totally not the case. It’s definitely something people many people love the thought of, but will never put the time into actually doing…especially doing well!
Ideas are the proverbial dime a dozen. Someone who can take a small snippet of an idea, a little slice of life, and turn it into a novel, now there’s the talent.
Mary: One of the things I liked about the Ann Pratchett memoir I mentioned is how she doesn’t believe everybody has a novel in them. That’s always been a throwaway statement I’ve heard. And it’s just not true, because it takes a lot more than just and idea and thinking it would be neat to write a novel for it to happen.
The last novel I finished, Promise, started with an idea: killing somebody for their horrid laugh. There was a woman at the job I had at the time who had a goose-like laugh that reached a level of annoying that’s hard to describe. One day while she was laughing, a coworker said, “That laugh makes me want to kill!” My mind went to the man with the cloudy eye in “The Tell-Tale Heart,” and how it drove the narrator mad. So Promise began with somebody being killed for a horrid laugh.
And then I realized that it just wasn’t working. The person who was originally murdered is still dead in the final draft, but there is nothing fishy about her death. There is still mention of her grating laugh, but it’s something people miss with her passing. The thing that kicked off a novel is tucked away in passing.
It was all the ideas that came after that idea that matter. It went from a straight-up body count mystery to the only mystery being “who killed the guy at the bottom of a cave.” It’s more about an outsider coming in to the small town than what the novel was originally.
People put a lot of stock in ideas, but a big part of writing is knowing what ideas to kill.
Although my comment may not have conveyed what you say here, it’s what I meant. THERE’S a writer for you. 😉