I know I can go 101 days without social media. Giving up Twitter, Google+, and especially Facebook isn’t too tough for me. I can go without a telephone, too. (I’m also not much of a fan of text messages.) The one thing I always check daily, though, is email.
So…this past weekend, I unplugged it all.
No social media, no smart phone, and no email. (I still used my computer for writing, of course.)
A Cabin in the Woods
I’ve mentioned before that I admire Paul Lamb and his tiny cabin in the woods. If I’m camping or hiking — or even just running around — I can disconnect without a problem. But once I get home, I check email.
While I don’t have a cabin to retreat to for a weekend, I do have something on my side: the ability to just say enough!
We all have that: the ability to just turn it all off and lose ourselves in the things we don’t always get to when we’re connected so much.
Here’s a video about my weekend disconnected from it all. There really is something to claiming time as yours. I liked it enough that I might do it one weekend a month…maybe even try a week sometime down the line.
I hope everybody had a great weekend.
Congrats on taking the leap and unplugging! Your story was inspiring and it sounds like you had a relaxing and productive weekend (two words that, until now, I thought I’d never see in the same sentence). There are times (or maybe it’s all the time) when social media just adds to the chaos. Thanks for posting, and I will definitely be trying this.
A mini writer’s retreat, uninterrupted deep thoughts, AND homemade kimchee? You consistently raise the bar!
Laura: It was a nice weekend. I tend to like social media — mostly Google+ and Twitter. I love aspects of Facebook (being in touch with old friends up north, where I grew up), but it also tends to be more of a soapbox than other social media sites. (I think that’s because on Twitter and G+, I tend to follow other writers and seek out publishing information…it’s not that guy from high school you never really got along with who requests a friendship and then all he posts is angry, political rants steeped in fear and bitterness.) To remove certain family prone to ranting creates drama, and I’ve noticed no matter how much I hide certain people, Facebook seems to throw them back into my feed every couple weeks. It’s better with Facebook, now, since they started allowing you to make groups. I can open Facebook and go straight to my “Happy People” group and avoid all anger and noise.
It’s also interesting seeing how some people react when they find out they can’t get in touch with you, except in cases of emergency. When I took my 101-day social media break, some friends dared me to take 30 days to 50 days, and then 101 days. Most friends thought it was a neat experiment. But some people took it personally, like I was saying, “Your updates about politics and what you ate for brunch don’t matter to me!” (I know some people HATE food photos online, but I like seeing what others are eating 🙂 ) Some people take it personal when you step back from it all, like you’re personally excluding them, and I think that sheds a light on how some view social media. It’s a soapbox, and they want to be heard.
I recently removed some people who were ranting about politics. (For the record, I’ve even removed some people whom I agree with, politically…just don’t want to hear the anger all day.) Some people really think not only do they have a right to rant (and they do), but also that others must listen. You remove them and they message you, ranting about how they have a right to spew their anger. You say, “Yes, you do…and…I have a right to not listen,” and they come unhinged.
With a political season heating up more and more each day, I may end up doing another social media break. Sometimes it even spills over into filtered groups and I’d rather focus on writing this season than the arguments arising from politics and other noise.
CMS: It took everything I had to not have kimchi for breakfast!
Definitely a nice weekend; something I can see making a monthly thing. It was interesting seeing the email that did come in over the weekend, and how it was important, but not so important that it had to be answered on the same day.
If email wasn’t the way I communicate about many writing things, I could see having an account only a few people know and just checking all other accounts maybe once a week…
I’m getting to the point where the tooling of social media is becoming transparent. What I need unplugging from is not Facebook, Twitter, etc., it is from the social debate that takes place leveraging those platforms. The same would be true if I was face-to-face with that relative that is constantly ranting about something.
I fully support unplugging so you can focus. I think we’ve always needed this. For example, this is why we take vacations. I think the difference is that we need to adapt to the way these enhanced tools have changed the way we interact. Rather than dreading the family gathering where you will be forced to listen to that relative with the offensive ranting, social media tools have extended that dread to always-on. The good news is that we can exercise some control over this.
One suggestion might be to disable notifications. That way, you limit your interactions with these tools to when you want to. I find this works for me and Facebook. It makes it more of a pull model than a push model, and I find it much less intrusive. Also, Facebook allows you to mute someone rather than completely de-friending them. This is a good option for people (like family) that you can’t de-friend without causing significant drama.
I really like your realization that for you, the dead time taken up by social media was previously your thinking time. And now, you don’t have that thinking time in your life. I’ve noticed this myself. For me, I’ve had to be intentional about carving out some time in my day for contemplation. This might be a good suggestion for you as well. As you pointed out. If we don’t make time for this, we won’t do it. And the benefits are significant.
Larry: You bring up a good point about it not being so much about social media, but those who feel the burning urge to just rant about things, even when they know the company they are around aren’t into arguing. I’ve seen it spill over into face-to-face visits. Also, a good point about how Facebook and other sites can prolong that dread to the point of an always-on thing, so when the relative you were once able to ignore or stomach during Thanksgiving is an extension of the noise online.
I generally do a good job of making that time to just relax. Sometimes it’s just a walk; sometimes it’s an hour just sitting on the couch and thinking about stuff I like, or not thinking about anything at all. I have no push notifications set on my phone and have done a good job establishing that I’m not really one to reply to text messages unless I’m meeting somebody somewhere and it’s replying to a, “Hey, I’m running a little late,” message.
My main issue with Facebook, lately, is that I’ve muted quite a few people, but every couple weeks it dumps them back into my feed. Other friends have noticed this as well…just one day you log in and there’s the flood of anger. Fortunately, Facebook came out with lists, and I can just see the people I REALLY want to see. The funny thing: there are one or two people in the lists I’ve created who sometimes rant. I’m okay with people occasionally ranting online if that’s their thing. I can tolerate it if I see one or two things, but it’s like the point you make about it being so constant. I flat out removed somebody from Facebook a month ago, and they went through and tallied all their regular posts vs. political posts to prove they don’t always post political stuff. I explained that it’s cumulative, and when it’s the constant march of the same tension all day (even from people I side with), I silence it.
The benefits of having time to think are definitely significant. Your vacations even recharge me a bit, seeing photos…shared on Facebook of all places! 🙂 I do like social media; it’s great to be able to see what friends who are in other parts of the country and world are up to. One of the big things I did after last year’s social media break is log out of sites so I have to make the effort to log in. More than half the time — when I do this — I don’t check.
I think the big thing I gained with this disconnect was that email isn’t something I need to check as often as I do. On Saturday, I had a mini flood of writing-related things come through, but the world didn’t end because I won’t get to it all until later tonight…maybe even tomorrow. I think as a writer trying to make it in an industry that has the odds stacked against the likelihood of making it, it’s easy to feel like you have to be connected on some level, just in case opportunity presents itself. There have definitely been times that being available helped me, but as I get older, that desperation has waned quite a bit and it’s more about just writing what I want no matter what happens.
Consequently, as I seek that solace in writing more than ever, I’ve noticed a bit more of an intolerance of the noise all around us. For me, it’s why I choose not to add to it all in a negative way. If somebody chooses to follow me online, I assume it’s because they’ve checked what I’ve posted and feel it’s generally positive, informative, or at least kind of funny. I don’t take even a stranger following me lightly, and definitely try to ensure that what I share is something more than adding to the tension of it all…even though I’m definitely guilty of sometimes posting stupid photos that crack me up! 🙂
Looks like I’ll be having some internet-free time soon. I’m heading to my off-the-grid cabin for a solo couple of days! Deep thoughts, indeed! (And maybe a cigar.)
A long weekend + a cabin in the woods sounds nice! I tried an H. Upmann (1844 Reserve Churchill); I can see sitting on the porch, overlooking the lake, and smoking the rare cigar a nice way to enjoy being cut off from it all — just a cabin and one’s thoughts. Enjoy!