It’s been a little while since I last updated. I meant for this entry to come along a day or two after the Better Writing Through Birdemic entry. The crew behind the RiffTraxx Live showing of Birdemic are some of the same people who were behind Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Which brings us to The Giant Gila Monster and another writing lesson…
Legs Up!
Here’s a clip from the Giant Gila Monster episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you’d rather skip to the point, go to 1:40 into the video. For 20 seconds, they point out how frequently people in the movie rest their arms on their knees by raising their legs on things.
That repetition becomes humorous when it stands out.
So what writing lesson can be learned from the abundance of knees in The Giant Gila Monster?
This…
The Chain Smoker
I’ve always been fine just letting dialog play out without having characters do other things while talking. If action is necessary, sure, it goes in…but so often, writers make characters “do” things just for the sake of doing things. Smoking is a good example.
In the middle of talking, a character will light a cigarette. And then they light another. And another. And another…
In what amounts to a minute and a half chat, you might see a character smoke three or four cigarettes. It’s worse than people in a B movie resting their arms on their knees!
Timing is Everything
For the writer, it may take some time to write a scene. So, to them, when 10 – 15 minutes of actual writing time has passed, they have the character light another cigarette. The problem is, only 40 seconds of dialog may have passed.
It happens more often than you think. I’ve seen it happen in rough drafts written by friends…and I’ve seen it happen in published books.
There’s no excuse for it.
The Fix
The fix for this problem is simple: read your dialog — and only your dialog — out loud.
Don’t read any descriptive passages. Don’t read little things the characters are doing. And here’s the biggie: time your dialog with a stopwatch.
A 6-page chapter may take hours to write and some time to read, but the dialog contained within may only last 2 minutes when timed. If you have a character smoking four cigarettes in that time — and I’ve seen it happen — that’s 30 seconds a cigarette!
I’ve never tried a cigarette, but even I know that’s not happening.
An even better fix? If you have characters who smoke and it’s essential to make that point, have them light just one cigarette per scene.
Repetition
We all have repetitive things we do that stand out. I’m guilty of certain analogies in many things I write; others call out character traits over and over and over.
It’s so important to remember that the time spent writing is not the same time spent reading. The things we may experience as writers happen every week or two because writing is a slow process can happen every 20 – 60 minutes for a reader. Repetition stands out more for readers.
It’s easy to proofread your manuscripts for grammatical errors and other mechanical issues, but we’d all do well to do another read focused solely on looking for the annoying things we know we do as writers.
Eventually, we may even think, “There’s really no reason to have this character smoke at all…”
This is such a good point, and I’ve timed my dialog with a stopwatch on more than one occasion.
Perhaps it’s just this person: http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/10742642/2/stock-photo-10742642-too-many-cigarettes.jpg
Things like smoking and eating are “well, my character needs to be doing SOMETHING,” kinds of things. I’ve seen drafts where characters meet for meals six times a day, simply because the writer couldn’t find a more compelling reason to have characters meet up.
I’m not saying characters should never smoke or meet friends for dinner… but it’s one of those places where reading aloud to yourself really does help catch some pretty glaring continuity errors.
Lisa: I’m a big fan of the stopwatch! That, and just letting dialog stand on its own. If the dialog is good, I don’t need characters scratching their noses and doing little movements for the sake of doing little movements.
Reading with a stopwatch and then just reading as a reader….more times than not, dialog needs little more than what it is.
Shawn: Yes, there’s always THAT person! 😉
The first Fletch book…it opens with dialog, and is packed full of dialog. Just that: dialog. It doesn’t need descriptions about what people are doing. It’s such a great example of dialog on its own.
I may have a character react to something someone says, maybe show some stress or something, but since I rough so much out with dialog, I often just let it stand. Part of it, I think, comes from writing comic book scripts and screenplays. I’m also guilty of putting sound effects in novels.
The meal chat. I should have mentioned that one, too. When I read something like, “You KNOW what I mean,” Roger said conspiratorially, setting down his salad fork beside his main fork, for this was a meal that was going to last as long as this stilted dialog,” I want to poke out my eyes with a fork so I never have to read something like that ever again.
Oh yeah, meals. The opposite of the “every fork” meal is the one where the characters sit down to eat, have their conversation, and then get up at the end of the meal on the next page. If you time the dialog, they’ve been talking for two minutes at most. I’m a fast eater, but even I don’t eat that quickly, especially when I have expository dialog to get through.
This kind of scene often takes place at a restaurant, where the conversation is punctuated by the characters placing their orders and then receiving the food. This demonstrates that time is passing, and it tends to demonstrate that they are eating at the shortest-order diner anywhere. I would like to eat at the restaurant, because I hate waiting.
Lisa: I think you mention an even better example than the chain smoker! Yes, the two-minute conversation that takes place over a 5-course meal! I have definitely seen it, and it makes me cringe. Also, as you point out, how food almost magically appears:
“So…uhm…was this Lobster Newburg sitting in the kitchen under heat lamps, or is there a time machine in the kitchen where you go back and make things after we order so it’s almost instant?”
This is great, and it’s advice I don’t recall reading anywhere else. Mind if I share it on G+? 🙂